Surrounded

Settling in, creating space to commune with Holiness, longing to hear the hushed whispers of the one whose words create life from nothing at all. Waves of chaotic thoughts begging to be stilled, a fright-filled invitation for Peace himself to walk out on the waters of my soul. He doesn’t hesitate, what has me riddled with frustration he masters with one glance. The authority in his eyes intimidates and draws simultaneously; a love completely resolute and affirming leaving no questions of his wanting to collide with the great expanse that is me. His discipline is kindly to the core, he has me. Engaging intently, melting into these potter’s hands, he prunes and perfects my faith once again. Intimacy is found here; a knowing, seeing, hearing that has me willing to be poured out in any amount, any direction. I’m forever and only his once again. He has me surrounded.

I’m willing to bet that those twelve men that followed, dined with, and drank from the fount of Messiah felt rapturous moments like mine time and time again. A return to that first love love over and over, having the caverns of their souls carved out with the washing of the water of the Word. He’s the same for me as he was for them — he’s so personal. Willing to step into any moment to embody strength as us. What I didn’t anticipate was the intentionality on his part to surround himself with the attributes of his Father’s house through those twelve men.

Holy Spirit blew the doors off of my stuffy understanding of discipleship, who they were and why Jesus chose them. Jesus stepped out of Heaven to accomplish all that he did, we find him stealing away for time alone with his father, but what’s not obvious is that he intentionally surrounded himself with what felt like home to him. Each of those men carried an attribute of the character of the Father, enhanced and revealed when opened up to the Son. We see the short-comings of each of these fellas portrayed but what Jesus felt when they were near is the substance of Heaven. Even Judas, the betrayer has intimate moments with Jesus, we’ve labeled him as a cautionary tale of what not to do, but on the other side of the betrayal was someone who had the inklings of a helper, someone who cared deeply. He was a man who offered Jesus the tastes of heavens pleasures. Jesus didn’t come to shame us into being good so God will once again like us; God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to reveal who we really are. He came as an example of us! He wasn’t trying to change them, he was revealing them.

The entirety of the gospel is a set-up; a definitive moment altering all time. The declaration of the Kingdom of Heaven through the finished works of the cross isn’t just, ‘You are good!” but includes a doting Father’s anthem, “You’re the spitting image of me!” Pay attention, there are clues everywhere in our bibles, descriptions of who we are in Christ, if we’d refuse the distraction of who we aren’t. Look at the listing of the fruits of the spirit, that’s who we are. We are love poured out; joy, peace, goodness and the like are attributes of our new creation life. Jesus didn’t just surround himself with Heaven while on earth, he made sure Heaven would multiply throughout the world. Through you and me there are traces of the family of God, trails of love everywhere. Discipleship is less about getting it right, it‘s realizing someone else already did. Christ in me is the hope of glory, the knowledge of the glory of the lord that will cover the earth as the waters cover the seas is poured out through us. It’s a mind-blowing, life-altering existence; an invitation to perfection and provision that’s unearned, one that disappears momentarily within the shadows of striving just to prove you can’t perfect on what Christ finished on your behalf. Discipleship looks like relenting all desire for status quo, it parades its knowledge of nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified. Disciples are created every time we choose to see what Jesus sees, agreeing that the one standing on either side of us looks just like Dad.